April 15, 2006
Its been days since I have written here – I have, in fact,
done almost nothing, even as my days were filled with the most beautiful
and marvelous activity. Where to begin! Well, the tornadoes of a week
ago. The weather, one moment so beautiful and conducive to my favorite
activities of horseback riding and swimming with Clover, is apt to
change here at a moments notice, and for the first time in my life
I was exposed to the fear of tornadoes. Early in the morning of an
otherwise perfect day, the hurricane warning went off on our weather
radio, waking both Clover and I up with its mournful screeching. I
felt rather incredulous that tornadoes could possibly be in the area;
the weather outside was so beautiful, but before mid-day, in utter
stillness, a great mass of leaves and twigs started falling from the
clear sky, which Clover said must be the detritus picked up by the
tornadoes and dropped into the atmosphere high above our heads, now
settling down to earth. Shortly thereafter a tremendous gale burst
through the valley, followed by the most tremendous storm I had ever
in my life experienced. The storm started around 3 pm, the atmosphere
became dark almost like night, and great torrents of hail fell from
the sky, and volleys of lightning, while the weather radio constantly
wailed, informing us of the constantly encroaching danger. I went
outside and put a blanket underneath the house, in case we had to
take shelter there from a tornado, and Clover and I sat on the porch
until well past midnight, talking through my fear (he seemed completely
unconcerned), until we at last went to bed, as the storm raged around
us, and dark fantasies of death hovered about my head. But nothing
came of my fears – the next day came beautiful and bright, and
exceedingly hot, as though the drama of the night before had never
taken place.
Not two days later the siren started going off again, this time late
at night. We tried to sleep through it, and woke up early in the morning
– I asked Clover to model, to settle my nerves, so as the weather
raged outside Clover sat nude within, in the pose of a dying athlete,
while I painted and drew. The painting was not coming successfully
– the lightning was incessant outside, with seven, eight, a
dozen bolts falling every minute. And the weather radio started announcing
tornado sightings increasingly close to our home. Then hale started
falling, huge, round chunks that could fill my palm – Clover
broke his pose and we ran out to the porch, marveling at the strange
and awful weather. And then one of the most horrible things I have
ever experienced took place. A great roaring sound suddenly boomed
upon us from the north, and I could distinc tly see, over the hills
to the north where our valley meanders, a snake-like cloud falling
from the sky, over a roar and din so loud I was rendered incapable
of thought.. Clover suddenly grabbed my hand, and racing out of the
house, we ran down the steps and threw ourselves under the house,
huddling against the cement foundation and laying flat against the
floor. The torrent of rain was so intense that in the single moment
we were out of doors I had been soaked completely through my clothes.
Clover and I held each other very tightly, and I was only dimly aware
that he was still naked, I was so terrified by what was taking place.
But somehow, I suddenly became very aware of his body pressed against
mine, and in the darkness under the house, laying on our blanket,
I could feel his penis harden against my thigh, and my face, pressed
against his naked chest, sought out his neck, his cheek, his soft
and trembling lips, and I found myself kissing them, biting them,
and caressing with my hands the simultaneously soft and hard orbs
of his quivering ass, which I had so longed to possess. For so long
now we had wrestled and played, while skinny dipping in the river
or in the middle of a drawing session, and while I had often brushed
his penis or ass with my hand “accidentally,” I had never
been able to touch, to feel, to linger over the delightful sensations
of his tender and beautiful body. I longed to look at him, and moving
the blanket away from the wall, I pulled him towards the opening,
with our little valley spread out beyond, and where the strange, red
light of the storm illuminated his body in an ethereal and beautiful
glow, like Endymion embraced with the light of Selene. He pulled off
my clothes, and glistening in the reflected glow of the lightning
bolts against our wet and dazzling skin, we made love.
Afterwards he lay against me, and nuzzling against his cheek we laughed.
The tornado had gone away, its roar had ceased but we had not even
noticed – it apparently caused no damage. We talked –
about my thought that he was straight (he had never been with a boy
before). We made love, right there, again. And then we went inside
to shower, play, and spend our day in mutual caresses.
Every day since has been paradisiacal. He sleeps in my bed, to my
great delight, and our nights are spent exploring one another’s
bodies and murmuring protestations of devotion; we wake up late and
spend our days horseback riding, swimming in the creek, and indulging
in that great pleasure of country living, which is that our neighbors
are so far away that if we are taken with amorous desires at any moment
of the day, we feel free to indulge them, and to that end have been
busily consecrating our favorite swimming spots and wooded dales,
and when taking refuge in one of the abandoned barns from sudden showers
(we have two on the property), transform into our lovers nest.
I can’t believe how this has unfolded. I know that this is just
an idyll – a temporary pleasure (he’s only 19, and I mustn’t
forget that – inexperienced as he is, he will be seeking other
pastures), but for now, everything is perfection, and I can only enjoy
this unexpected and truly marvelous gift.
Oh, and as to the tornado, it seems never to have touched the ground,
and caused no damage at all, but instead served the wonderful purpose
of pushing Clover into my arms and making free of our inhibitions.
The same cannot be said of other tornadoes that day, however –
we heard afterwards in town that more than twenty people up and down
the length of Tennessee had perished. But for now, I don’t want
to think about that, wrapped as I am in the pleasures of love.